Pick one for me

starsmending:

daydreamdelusion:

teganrebecca:

inspires:promising:readily:agrons:flopstars:whitneymartin:ihaskidgloves

I stabbed a bixesual because that’s how I roll.

I ran shirtless with a pickle because that is how I roll.

I cuddled with santa claus b’cos the lil ppl told me to

I killed a pornstar because I’m sexy as hell.

I raped a jar of honey because I love marijuana.

I slept with a bag of weed because I’m a pimp and you’re jealous

I smoked with the trojan man bcos I have AMAZING boobs. True story.

I ran shirtless with your grandma, because that’s how I roll. {umm err wahhh?! lol}

I slept with a condom, because I love marijuana. WTF? lol

“I raped a stripper because that’s how I roll.” O_o Wow, I’m a villain.

I hanged a french fry b’cos the lil people told me to. HAHAHAHAHA!!! How do you hang a french fry?!